A few days ago I wrote of the challenges many of us face being sandwiched between generations. Just like everyone else, we expats do our best to care for, raise and guide our TCK children to adulthood(and beyond) while also staying connected to and supporting our aging parents.
We just sometimes have a few wrenches thrown in due to our lack of immediate proximity.
All while maintaining a (hopefully) healthy family life and juggling work, friends, fitness, favored activities, community involvement and personal growth.
Oh, and don’t forget sleep. It seems we need sleep far more than we know.
I’m talking good quality sleep that rejuvenates and restores. The kind most of us haven’t experienced since childhood when we could zonk out with the best of them.
The last time I can recall going to bed and sleeping through the night, waking refreshed and raring to go?
Somewhere between the college days – late nights writing papers, early morning classes, cramming for tests and partying as if it were Prince’s proverbial 1999 – and the arrival of children on the scene.
For months now I’ve been doing a lot of reading and research for my book on the importance of emotional resilience in expat life, and let me tell you: the list of things I should be doing to maintain some semblance of emotional and physical wellbeing is, well, starting to verge on the unhealthy.
I’m not quibbling with the need to watch what I eat and exercise on a regular basis to drop unwanted pounds and help maintain cardiovascular health, strength, flexibility and endurance.
We need to be eating healthy foods with plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables, going easy on meat, high-calorie stuff with minimal nutritional value and alcohol.
Got it.
Multivitamin? Fish oil? Calcium tablets?
Check, check and check.
Eliminate the carbonated beverages, watch the caffeine, drink green tea, stay hydrated with plenty of water.
Add in eight hours of restful sleep nightly, excelling in our careers with meaningful work, meditation to clarify our minds, reading for pleasure, reading to gain new knowledge and expand said clarified minds, unplugging from too much time spent online or using various screens (name your own vice), spending time with others to fulfill our need for interpersonal connections, spending time alone for emotional balance, fitting in volunteer work to help others and retain a sense of gratitude…
We’re supposed to do all this and somehow remember to throw in a few loads of laundry, walk the dog, keep the fridge and pantry reasonably stocked, vacuum occasionally, dust now and then, brush our teeth and change the cat litter?
Yeah, right.
Remember, this is the ‘must do’ list BEFORE we even add anything remotely related to caring for toddlers, chauffering kids, ensuring our teens aren’t running amok and our young adult children are on track or helping to deal with the latest development in our parents’ gradual decline.
Let’s face it. Life is complicated and messy. Sometimes it’s a bit overwhelming.
Just when you figure out how to juggle the various requirements in your daily life, they change and you’re often left standing there with someone’s unmet need lying on the ground.
And so it goes.
Last month I wrote about doing some spring cleaning in my writing projects. While finishing up or stepping away from certain tasks, I’ve added a select few new ones.
One such endeavor that I’m excited about is writing for the Telegraph’s Expat section.
Yesterday we kicked off our new relationship with their publication of my article on undertaking the university search for expat teens in which I discuss one of the latest plates I’m juggling, this time around with Daughter.
Not bad for multi-tasking, eh?
[Image credit: sheelamohan, profolio 2169, freedigitalphotos.net]























That list of what one needs to do to achieve a well-balanced life just put me over the edge! I think I need a nap…. an 8 hour nap!! 😌
An eight hour, uninterrupted nap, Carol. Sometimes it all gets to be a bit too much. Sigh
Great article in the Telegraph Linda and can so relate. I’m sat surrounded by paperwork trying to complete our youngest son’s Study Visa application for Canada and the online application system has just crashed. Which is why I’m taking five and reading your blog!
When did life get so complicated? More importantly can someone please tell me when it will slow down?
Thank you dear. Study visas and system crashes, oh my. Complicated? Yes. Slow down? No clue
Brilliant job on the Telegraph article, Linda. Some time ago I decided that you must have figured out how to eliminate the need for sleep — there’s no other explanation for your almost freakish productivity. After hearing about your Telegraph gig, I’m wondering if you’ve cut out bathroom breaks as well. Now THERE’S an idea for your next book!
Are you kidding? Sometimes bathroom/shower time is the only uninterrupted moments I find in a day! Thanks Maria, much appreciated.
I can relate to everything you say! I am not working now, but finding that balance seems to be just as hard. I am trying not to do too much multi-tasking – I am tired of it. Wanting to keep things simple, but that’s easier said than done!
I agree Emma, simplifying life should be the answer. It just seems that there is so much to remember, let alone do!
Like you, I’m very, very busy with lots of balls in the air at the moment. Regrettably, this always seems to go hand in hand with fitful, disturbed and unsatisfying sleep – and the more I fret about that, the worse it becomes.
However, having read your prescription for healthy living, I think I am now shattered enough to sleep the night through.
Nice job, Linda!
Glad to help, Deb. Perhaps there’s something soothing about making the exhaustive list and then deciding to do what you can, when you can and move on
Hi Linda,
I must say my head started to spin as I tried desperately to check off all the requirements for a balanced life on your list (and I don’t have any kids) but I appear to have most of them covered. I think what gets most people (at least the overachievers) all twisted up in knots is when they try to do them all in one day or even in a week. It’s not possible! What is possible is to look at the balancing act in one-month chunks, after you slot in all the ‘must-dos’ that are critical to the smooth operation of life and family. I think then you can heave a sigh of relief and fit in most of it. At least that’s my philosophy!
Happily yours,
Anne
I think you’re right Anne, taking a longer view – say, monthly – would really help. Several of the things on the list are simple changes in behavior (e.g., dietary changes, taking supplements) which aren’t particularly time-consuming but do require memory and action. Many of the others require focus, attention and perseverance to convert them into regular habits (e.g., daily exercise, meditation). A work-in-progress, that’s for sure
Welcome into the Telegraph fold, Linda! Hope to see lots of interesting articles from you over the coming months.
Totally understand the need for a good tidy-up of your commitments first… I’m stood here with broom in hand having a good ole clean-up myself.
As you well know Russell, it’s the nature of writing. Besides, my personal motto is ‘Embrace Change’!
Congrats on your writing gig at the Telegraph! I agree with Emma, sometimes you have to give up the multitasking and try to simplify. It’s easier said than done, but at times necessary!
True, Heather. Try as we might, we can’t do it all. I’m trying to convert certain actions to firmly entrenched habits, take Anne’s suggestion to look at the situation from a month’s perspective, and prioritize the rest.