I’ve been back in the United States for a week now, and I’m still adjusting.
Daughter and I are here for an extended period visiting family, beginning to check out universities, attending a pre-college program (her) while I hole myself up to work on some writing projects, and so on.
Oh, and eventually spending some time at the beach.
Having been away for two years means it’s taking some getting used to.
We’re definitely no longer accustomed to the high temperatures and humidity of mid-summer on the East Coast, especially when heat advisories are in place.
The Netherlands rarely edges up much above low 80s (Fahrenheit), and when it does the Dutch have already flocked to the water to cool off: beach, dunes, boats, lakes.
Living less than a mile from the western coast, we’re able to throw open windows and capture the North Sea breeze to cool things down.
Here? D@mn, it is hot.
One hundred six degrees Fahrenheit today. Heat so searing and humid that it hurts to breathe.
I know that eventually the heat wave will break, and 90s will start to feel comfortable. After all, we’ve grown up equating heat with summer, and summer it is.
But it’s not merely the heat that is causing sensory overload. It’s just about everything.
Hearing English, American English, everywhere is surprising.
‘Wow, another American family is moving into the neighborhood,’ I keep thinking. Except I’m not on little Ten Hovestraat, I’m back in the US.
That last sentence says it all. No one growing up in the US calls it America, except when referring to the good old US of A in the pledge of allegiance or singing patriotic songs. We use the word much more as an adjective, not a noun.
Yet elsewhere, most people refer to the United States as America. I’m usually asked if I’m English, something I’m sure most Brits would object to strenuously in light of my clearly American accent.
Three years on and that still always takes me by surprise. Then when I say (either in Dutch or English) that I’m from the United States, the response is always the same.
‘Oh, you’re from America?‘
Since we’ve been back, it’s been hard turning off my brain when it believes I need to translate virtually everything I’m about to say into English. Except that I don’t.
The result is a sort of stilted, English mush until I get going.
Headlines on newspapers and magazines are often unfamiliar, even if we’ve been keeping up with many of the issues under discussion. There are new television shows to check out, new artists and new songs on the radio, new lyrics to learn.
Wandering through the aisles of various grocery stores (no Albert Heijn here, alas), the abundance of choice is overwhelming. New products, new flavors, new foods, new drinks.
We make payment differently, and have to remember not to bag our own groceries unless we’re in the self-check out line as it’s part of someone’s job description. I’ve only tried to use my Dutch pin card twice, both times having the transaction denied, eliciting a ‘well, duh‘ reaction in my mind.
While it is in part the nature of our trip, we’ve already driven more in a week than I tend to drive in a month…or three. Then again, I’ve covered the equivalent of three countries in Europe and we still have far more to go.
Yet from an American perspective we’re staying in one geographic area: it’s not as if we’re driving into the heartland, or covering 3,000 miles and visiting the West Coast or further.
The things I’m seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling and touching are familiar, yet often a little confusing. Just a bit off kilter.
We’re not repatriating, and it’s not a vacation. (Well, not until the time at the beach.) It’s living out of a suitcase, a series of visits to people we know and love intermingled with stops in places where we’re completely unknown, even if we’re familiar with the territory.
While visiting my parents, we went out to dinner one night to a favorite restaurant they’ve taken me to before. Housed in a typical American strip mall, this little Belgian gem run by a chef-husband and sommelier/hostess-wife serves up fabulous food.
When Isabeth came by our table, we chatted a bit in Dutch. Last time (two years ago) I felt awkward because I couldn’t quite understand her Brugges accent, even on some of the simpler conversational cues.
This time was only slightly better, and as we spoke I said something and then corrected myself, unsure whether I’d used the proper Dutch word order or not.
Then a surprising thing happened.
As Isabeth opened her mouth to give me the correct phrasing, a look of consternation flashed across her face. She started to say something, stopped, then began again.
‘Do you know, I’m not quite sure which is the right way to say that. I’ve forgotten…‘ she whispered to me in embarrassment. ‘I just don’t get much of a chance to speak Dutch very often.‘
Seeing her pained expression, I caught her eyes and gave her a knowing smile.
Oh, I get you Isabeth, I thought to myself. I truly do.
[Image credit: healingdream, portfolio 989, freedigitalphotos.net]
Brilliant Linda, spot on.
Having only today had talked with a friend who does not believe his daughter will have any problems adapting to college back in the USA, after living overseas for 6 years, I get what you’re saying. The USA has changed, so have you and adjustments have to be made.
The familiar, the things we grew up with, took for granted, are suddenly different, skewed, slightly out of focus when viewed through eyes that have lived somewhere else for a while. Hearing your own language spoken by everyone, listening to conversations going on around you is overwhelming
The choice in the stores is almost paralysing, you end up buying nothing – quite unlike AH where you’re grateful to have one thing you want on the shelves, let alone a choice!
Enjoy your trip and the adjustment back to ‘normality’!
Thanks Wordgeyser. I’m glad you put ‘normality’ in quotes because it all reinforces how the definition of ‘normal’ has certainly shifted. But we’re definitely enjoying being back, if only for a visit. As for your friend, I can’t imagine him being more wrong. Hope he (and his daughter) manage to read Pollock and Van Reken or Tina Quick’s book ASAP. When Son came back to start university here, he said it helped him know what to expect during the adjustment period, why it was happening and how to patiently work his way through it.
This post really struck a chord with me Linda.
While it may not be the US, I feel exactly the same way every visit back to Oz…things seem to have shifted but ever so slightly rather than overtly and it makes me feel off balance and underprepared. The heat thing is the same for me too – last time I was in Melbourne the mercury hit 42C and I just thought ‘I cannot do this any more!
This year I will be going back for the 4th time since I left in 2004 and I am reminded that, a bit like your old friend in the cafe, I can never quite remember where my day to day expressions come from…until I see the looks on my family’s faces that say “That’s downright un-Australian”.
Enjoy the rest of your trip.
Thanks Kym. I laughed at your parents’ phrase ‘that’s downright unAustralian’. Nothing can be tougher than not being what you’re expected to be. That’s okay, you bring a splash of spice in their life 😉 Travel safely and keep us posted.
It’s not until the end of the year so I have about 5 months to swot up – on Australian expression or smart-a**e retorts! 😉
Better yet, both!
I know we will get the same feelings and confusion when we visit the UK in September – after a long gap of more than six years. We used to visit more regularly, but… The best thing to do is not let it worry you and to find the funny side of it!
And I’m definitely finding the humor in all of this, Emma. That’s wonderful that you will be heading back for a visit to the UK in September. It feels good to get reacquainted.
It’s interesting what you say about ‘America’. I have a theory that non-Americans use the word because the US often represents an idea (sometimes good, sometimes bad) and not just a country.
That is an interesting theory Jack. One of the reasons we use ‘United States’ is we’re constantly reminded that the US is part of North America; to call ourselves ‘America’ would be to appropriate the entire name. Appears we can’t catch a break either way.
Had many of the same observations while back last month. It’s strange having to adjust back to “home.”
I also get the same question – Are you English? I’m still a little surprised when people can’t hear the difference between an American accent and an English one. But then I can’t tell the difference between German German, Swiss German, and Austrian German. If there is such a thing.
Hope the temperatures cool down and enjoy the time back.
Am enjoying some nice beach time with my family, Rachel. Isn’t it odd to have to adjust to your own country? But it’s absolutely true. You’re right about the accents we can’t differentiate, and it’s true of others as well (i.e., don’t hear the difference between American and British English, which cracks me up as the Brits would go bonkers at such a mistake). Glad you made it back to the US among all your other trips 😉
I couldn’t agree more! I use the wrong words, I drive on the wrong side of the road (!!), I forget that people at home don’t know the people abroad.. the list is endless. It’s why I love it when visitors come and stay – they get to see the incremental adaptations that gradually make you different. And they too struggle with the challenges of different Highway codes..
Exactly! People sometimes think living abroad is like traveling/vacationing abroad, but it isn’t so. I’m beginning to feel accliminated, so imagine I’ll be confused when I return, lol
What a great post. I’ve been in the States (America, in the UK too) for 22 years now, and it’s getting stranger and stranger to go back to England. I forget which is the US and which is the UK version of words, so I can’t imagine what it must be like with a different language involved.
The only good thing about mucking up a foreign language in your ‘home’ country is few can tell you’ve done so. Today I said something and my brother was sure it wasn’t a word. I was sure it was, then not so sure, then completely confused. Turns out it was correct, but I’d been reduced to ‘is it? isn’t it?’. Can only imagine your ‘nether’ world status between the UK and US; at least Americans will always find your accent charming 😉