I’ve often wondered what I would say in a post like this. I’ve played it out in my mind before, I just never thought I’d be writing this now.
You see, it’s time forΒ that kind of post.
Not the kind where you tell everyone you’re moving on to another expatriate experience, although there were a couple of times over the past two years where we came awfully close to doing so.
No, this is a slightly different post, one in which I let you know that finally the tipping point has been reached.
This is ‘the tipping post’.
Husband, Son, Daughter and I are repatriating back to the US.
Yeah, it still takes me by surprise, too.
I know there will be questions Β – heck, evenΒ I have lots of questions – and I’ll try to answer them in a series of posts in the days ahead.
And for the record, believe me, I understand the delicious sense of irony in someone who has been blogging less than usual in recent months preparing to write a tipping post and suddenly coming up with a long list of posts to help fill in the blanks.
But for now, I’ll leave you with this:
The reasons why are several, but none more pressing than my father’s terminal cancer. As we found ourselves discussing the decision to repatriate, tossing it around gently as if it were a sea shell, holding it up to the light and examining every crevice and smooth surface, the sense of urgency has certainly been heightened by his condition. It isn’t good, and won’t get better. We need to be there for him, for my mother. We are in a race against time to get there, a race I am determined to win.
In expat terms that means we’ve completely thrown the repatriation handbook out the window. What I always envisioned would be a nice, leisurely, yearlong period of deliberate planning and careful preparation is gone. Just like that. Poof.
It’s been replaced by long days of lists and tasks and decisions, and late nights of worry and what-ifs and semi-panic as we try to do in a few weeks what rightfully takes a few months.
The book? Finally done, beautifully edited by Saint Jane Dean, the fabulous layout design completed by Lisa Hall of Lemonberry, and sent off to print yesterday by esteemed expat publisher, Jo Parfitt of Summertime Publishing.
They say it takes a village to raise a child. Well, I can tell you it takes a village to get a book ready for publication, and it takes an extraordinarily dedicated Β ‘A team’ to support someone – an author – in getting it finished so they can leave abruptly. They’ve gone far above and well beyond, with firmness, focus and grace. They have made me an author, and believe me, there is no greater gift you can give a writer.
As for the blog, of course it will continue. Was there really any thought I’d have less to say in future days? So much to share on preparing to leave, transitioning, landing, building a new life.
I’m well aware repatriation is often as difficult as other moves across culture – if not more so, in certain respects – precisely because people don’t necessarily expect it to be. But we’re cognizant of how much we’ve changed, and been changed by our experiences abroad, and we know others ‘back home’ have changed as well. We’re not going back to a previous life, we’re moving forward into a new one.
Career? Yes, there will be some tweaks there as well. For one, I’ve finished the labor of love which has consumed my spare time and attention – as life developments would allow – over the past two years. I’m giving considerable thought to my next writing project(s), and while I haven’t locked in on all of them yet, I can tell you they will be squarely in the fiction camp. There are also some other interesting things on the horizon which I’m not yet at liberty to discuss, but will share when I can.
Expat life? That, too, remains an open book. Husband’s and my work will remain firmly in the international arena, and we fully expect to head overseas for travel, extended stays and even relocation in the years ahead. We’re building a home base from which to explore and go forth, something Ruth Van Reken wisely once counseled me would be of enormous value and benefit. (The full story’s in the book.)
So there you go. The ‘R word’ has entered my family’s lexicon. We’re up to our eyeballs in it, and will be for some time to come. Hope you come along for the ride.
Wow! My heart’s thudding! What a relief as far as your parents are concerned. I hope with all my heart you win your race against time, as it sounds as though you’ve set your heart on it as the trade-off for the rabbit-hole you’re about to jump down. I wish you a smooth ride, the very best of luck (and that’s something coming from an Irish lass) and all the best for your beautiful book. I’m sure the little extortionist next-door will miss you π
Oh thank you Aisha, what a wonderful comment. It’s been a bit Alice-in-Wonderland these past few weeks, only to become more so. Leave it to an inveterate reader/writer to choose ‘down-the-rabbit-hole’ as the perfect analogy. As for Catarina, there are still some Chronicles up my sleeve π
We are just starting the journey with the “R” word … so far so good, but there have been bumps and there will be more!!
I’ve been thinking of you – we’ll have lots to discuss in the months ahead, Naomi.
We repatriated last year, it’s harder than you think. And I’m quite sure I don’t belong anywhere because I belong everywhere, traveling.
I can just imagine, Marie, thanks. Added yours to my blog roll, will be coming around to catch up.
Linda, good luck on this new adventure! I can only imagine how hectic life is right now but you couldn’t have made a better decision – for your father, your family and yourself. Congratulations, again, on the book! Send us the link when it’s ready. And keep us posted on how it goes!
Oh thank you Katia, I appreciate that. We really are excited about many aspects of this move, just a lot of stuff to plow through to get there. Looking forward to seeing my parents shortly. Not sure when the book will be up on Amazon, hopefully next week but we’ll have to see.
Linda, I really wish you all the best for your move back to the USA. I truly appreciate the need to be back with family at such an important time, having just lost my own father (who was also an expat). I look forward to following this journey and your adventures to come.
So sorry to hear about your father, Melissa, that is difficult. Will keep you in my thoughts. BTW, great post on finding our tribes, and a big thank you for the mention!
I wish you a smooth journey/transition back to the US, Linda! Sorry to hear again about your father. Sending you love and hugs. Would be great to see you before you go, but totally understand if you won’t have time – I shall keep reading your blog for updates! Congrats again with regards to your book, I am really looking forward to reading it. Take care xx
Thanks for your unending support Carrie – I’ll give you a call <3
I’ve imagined how you would write this post, knowing it was coming and how incredibly difficult it would be for you. You nailed it. It’s been a privilege to walk alongside side you these past months, and watch as you navigated the overwhelming events you’ve been hit with. All while finishing your book. Don’t know how you’ve done it. Inspirational. You will be back in time, and you’ve made the right , and only, decision.
Couldn’t have done it without you there on the friend front as well as the book front. Many’s the time I’ve thought ‘What would Wordgeyser do?’ and know we all just muddle through the best we can. Thank you, thank you. Looking forward to Skype sessions across the pond to get my regular dose of humor, thought-provoking insights and wisdom.
If anyone can stare down the monster that is repatriation, it’s you. I have all the confidence in the world you’ll be fine. Just believe that where you’re going is where you have to be, and let the chips fall where they may. I’m looking forward to following along on your journey (because you’ll be writing lots, right?)
Yes ma’am, I hope to be writing a LOT. Then again, best laid plans… I fully expect it’ll have rough moments, even rough stretches. But you’re right, Maria, acceptance of ‘where you’re going is where you need to be’ is important. And we can Skype in the same time zone π
Oh wow, BIG news. Welcome to Repat Land. I see another book there, once you’ve had your fun with fiction. I will be glued to your blog and social media posts even more than usual. We’re rooting for you!
Thank you Judy, I really appreciate that. I’ve always been impressed with your and Maria sharing about the trials, tribulations and ultimate triumphs of repatriation. I’ve paid attention, and truly do feel welcomed into the repat tribe as a result.
Wowza! I hope it all transitions as smoothly as possible. I’ll be watching with fingers and toes firmly crossed. xx
I’m impressed with your toe-crossing abilities, Kirsty! Seriously, thanks. Waiting on YOUR book as well π
I knew your news before I read the post, but yet again, Linda, you show you are a writer through and through and can share devastating news through the lens of an exquisite metaphor that makes my skin hurt when I read it. Expertly, eloquently, evocatively put…
Aww, Jo, now you’ve got me blubbering and the moving man arrives shortly to go over packing/shipping arrangements. What an amazing thing to say, thank you so much. Your words are now scribbled on a yellow sticky note which will remain on my desk forevermore.
First of all Congratulations on the book, Linda! I’ve already heard great things about it and can certainly vouch for your team, Jo, Jane and Lisa are the best! I can’t wait to read it.
As for repatriating, sometimes I think it helps to simply think of it as ‘going home’ or as I described it in my book, ‘crossing the finish line.’ Good luck!
Thanks Maggie, I will be writing about Fly Away Home soon (haven’t forgotten).
So… I was lazily scrolling through my backlog of emails from yesterday after a frustrating day with internet issues on top of client deadlines and then came to a screeching halt that put it all into perspective again! What a tumultuous time for you. I can feel your conflicting emotions rolling around in my gut as I’ve contemplated a lot lately about what we would do should our aging parents need our help. It’s actually an easy answer… and my decision would be the same as yours. Get back as fast as you can and just ‘be’ with them. As you’ve so eloquently shared, that easy answer is followed by late nights, significant angst, quick wrap up of things that should take months…. and so on, and so on.
I know you will make it as smooth a transition as it could be and I will follow your blog wherever you go. And… fiction!? Knowing your background, the mind races with the possibilities! Can’t wait.
Virtual hugs and prayers for you dad,
Anne π
I really appreciate your reassuring words, Anne. Knowing it’s the right thing to do, right now, helps immensely. I laughed when I saw your comment about my background perhaps contributing plots/characters to my fiction. Hadn’t thought of that, although who’s to say what I’ll be writing on in the future. Kicking around a few ideas right now, mulling over which to choose. As you well know, after putting your all into a project for so long (despite the many disruptions encountered), it’s not as easy as it may seem to commit to the next one…
What a tough decision to have to make – and I’m sure a difficult few weeks and months ahead, but for the very best of reasons; family first and foremost. I’ll be rooting for you.
Thanks Rachel. Repat life is uncharted territory, but then again, that’s expat life as well!
Many challenges ahead then Linda. I hope your repatriation back to America is as good as it can be. You are certainly one of the most knowledgeable people on the subject and best placed to ride the repatriation storm! You should be justifiably proud to have published your wonderful book (I’ve read it) with so much going on. This time last year I was hard at it with mine, but can’t imagine how I’d have fared with all that you’ve had to cope with. Well done you.
Thank you Laura, I appreciate your sentiments and your support. It is candid books like yours which pave the way for others to deal with the challenges of transitions in expat life. BTW, I’m finishing my follow-up post on you – coming soon!
Heartfelt and honest. Retain the c’est la vie attitude, it’ll serve you well on repatriation. And I empathise with your reasons for returning home. We experienced the same life-changing circumstances with my father months before our international relocation. Tough, unfair, all the apples fallen from the tree moment but an inner strength kicks in. Sending you best wishes vibes.
Thanks Jacquie. One thing that helps immensely is having folks like Maria, Judy and you (among others) writing about repatriation. I’ll be adding another voice to the choir, once I find the right church and pew π
As we found, you gotta do what you gotta do. They’ll be new adventures to write about (Adventures in Repatland?) and new experiences to savour. The journey continues!
New adventures indeed. And as you found, Jack, ‘you gotta do what you gotta do’. It’s part and parcel of family life, and being in the ‘sandwich generation’.
I don’t think you could have put this any better, Linda. Always more difficult than people realise to share news of such magnitude and you hit the mark. Will continue to follow your journey and hope for a wonderful spell in the US, returning to favourite haunts and spending precious time with family members. Looking forward to hearing more of some of the interesting things on your horizon – oh, and reading/reviewing this brilliant new book of yours! π
π thanks Russell. Ditto re what’s new on your horizon as well.
All the best, Linda. Check one thing off and then another and pretty soon you’ll be there. One step at a time, right?
Congrats on the book!
Thanks Marney, love your site. I’ll be adding it to my expat/travel/global interest blog roll tab.
Very good luck with your repatriation. I am so sorry to hear about your father. My mother died some years ago and being there for her and for my father was a wonderful privilege, it also helped a lot in the months that followed to know I had spent as much time as possible with them.
Repatriation can be difficult but you will be fine. A home base will pay dividends if you choose to go abroad again in the future.
Thinking about you.
What a wonderfully uplifting comment Ersatz, thank you. Your words are very much appreciated.
It must be a relief to have made the decision after all of your concern about your Dad. Savour the moments you have and I’ll be looking forward to reading both your future repat adventures and your novel.
On a purely selfish note, I am sorry we didn’t organise to meet up while we were living close-ish but life is a funny thing and who knows what may happen. Wishing you, (and Husband, Son & Daughter) all the best for the next chapter xx
Thank you so much Kym for your comforting words. Rest assured London – and meeting you in person – remains in my future.